My husband and I are not at all alike. We fall into the category of “opposites attract,” when it comes to romance. Yet, somehow, before we had children, it didn’t seem to come up as often as it does now.
Mostly, where we run into problems, is in deciding what activities to do as a family.
Let me give you some examples:
- My ideal vacation spots would be Hawaii (at an all-inclusive resort so that the kids could be entertained as well), Disney World, or Europe (when the kids are old enough). His ideal vacation spot would be anywhere away from everything (no electricity, no problem!). And he feels that the kids are ready for this at any age.
- My idea for a morning weekend activity is something along the lines of the Science Museum or Zoo (if the weather is decent). His is hiking, no matter the weather or age of our children.
- I really only want to take the girls to kid-friendly restaurants. He feels we should take them wherever we want to go, and they can deal with it.
All of these opposite ideas leads to a lot of conflict, and it seems that someone is always unhappy. It’s proven quite hard to find a middle ground. Often the “compromise” is that he takes our older daughter out alone to things that he wants to do with her, and I stay home with the baby, or go run errands. I don’t think anyone is quite happy with that arrangement because it means that our family is split up during the precious little time that we have together. However, I’m not quite sure how to fix the problem. I really, truly don’t like being outdoors unless it’s above 70 degrees and sunny. (I know everyone is rolling their eyes at me, but what can I say? Some things are the way they are. My husband knew this about me before we got married.) I also don’t really like to do things that require physical stamina (kayaking, swimming, climbing, etc). I don’t mind walking/hiking, but again, it has to be good weather, and we don’t live in San Diego, unfortunately.
Conversely, my husband doesn’t really like to go to things that are geared toward children. Nor does he like shopping/the mall or eating out.
I have a hard time remembering what we did about this “opposite” problem before we added two extra humans in the equation, but I do know that we both really like ethnic food and hole-in-the-wall type establishments, so we frequented those for meals/drinks. Obviously those are the sorts of spots where you almost never see anyone under the age of thirteen, and many of them don’t even allow anyone under twenty-one to come in. So that’s not really a valid option for a family outing.
Of course we could continue on as we’ve been doing and either separate the family or always have one of us unhappy, but I am hoping to change course and find some things that we’d ALL like to do.
So, dear readers, if you have suggestions, do tell! (As a reminder, we have two girls. One is three years old, and the other is 10 months. We live in the Pacific Northwest.)
Can any one of you prove that opposites really do attract? I hope so!