What I miss the most

I was trying to come up with what I miss the most about life before kids, and the thought that came to my head surprised me. I miss waking up at 5:30a.m. I was an early bird and my teaching job started at 7:30a.m. What I miss wasn’t so much waking up so early but rather having those two hours of uninterrupted quiet time to myself, since my husband would wake just before I left.

I would enjoy a cup of coffee and eat breakfast leisurely rather than making a mad dash to turn the coffee machine on and then trying to down it as fast as I can while getting both kids’ breakfast ready (e.g. cereal, fruits, cheese, cream cheese of grahm crackers on bagels, earth balance on toast, yogurt…etc.). I understand the importance of breakfast so I generally sit down and eat whatever is the easiest with them. My husband usually just has a bowl of cereal and fruit.

I would read interesting articles online or the news with my coffee and breakfast rather than trying to finish up my breakfast as Lemon Cake holler for me from the living room to play with him and baby Banana demanding me to pick her up and trying to stand up in her highchair with a look of defiance and pride in her face.  

I would take a LONG shower rather than putting shower on my mental to-do list and trying to figure out exactly when I can take a shower so I can actually enjoy it instead of rushing through it. (I have a mental to-do list and written to-do list). I certainly don’t take a shower every day.

I would try on three outfits before deciding on one, and put some light make up on rather than making it a game to find an outfit for myself in ten seconds and put them on while Lemon Cake and baby Banana jump and crawl all around me and poking at my different exposed body parts. There are days when I don’t remember looking into the mirror at all. I certainly spend more time coordinating baby Banana’s outfit than mine. Lemon Cake has his own mind now so he picks out his own shirt. Fortunately, boys’ clothes are much simpler—anything matches.

I would take a relaxed ten minute stroll to school rather than trying my best to dress both kids calmly in their clothes, socks, shoes, winter jackets and hats. Then strapping (or I should say shoving) them in their car seats. Lemon Cake can do a lot of it on his own but still need guidance and encouragement. Putting two kids in winter clothes and strapping them in car seats are no easy tasks. I understand the safety of car seats and but I truly hate them.

            Being parents give us the experience of crazy joy, intense love, and also indescribable frustration and exhaustion. Yes, I do sincerely and sometimes intensely miss those hours alone when nobody demanded anything from me. At the same time, no words can describe how much I love seeing Lemon Cake and baby Banana first thing in the morning, and how their faces light up when they see me or daddy.



2 thoughts on “What I miss the most

  1. Pingback: This Is Hard | This Is Parenthood

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