On our own again

My mom left yesterday morning back to China. My dad left a few weeks ago. It was lots of tears and sadness. It wasn’t necessarily because I wanted my mom to stay longer and forever given the space we have, I was sad that we don’t live closer together and that Lemon Cake and Baby Banana only get to see my parents once or twice a year. I would love for the kids to get to see all their grandparents once a week or at least once a month. I don’t dream about all of us living on the same street but maybe in the same state or country. I am so grateful for technology. At least we can skype once a week and Lemon Cake definitely remembers my parents. I mean, how could he not? The ipad, the treats, the toys, the immediate service of getting milk from fridge and snacks all the time, unlimited time building with legos and drawing Thomas the train and friends…etc.

One piece of advice I give to my friends who haven’t had kids, is to have kids near your family (given that you have a decent relationship with them). I wish I had known better. Not that I would have done anything differently as I love my husband, my family and where we live, it just really sucks that we don’t have family close by. As my mom would put it, “you married an American and have American children, we have lost you to America forever”. They have been pushing and encouraging us to find jobs in Shanghai since Lemon Cake was born. I am sure my in-laws would not be happy about that. Both my husband and I left home for school and job when we were relatively young (me when I was sixteen and my husband right out of college). Somehow fate has decided we should meet and start a life here. Daddykush and I have had many conversations about where we might want to live in the future. Right now, we cannot imagine living anywhere else.

Luckily, Daddykush’s parents live in Maryland and Florida, which is not too far by plane. They absolutely adore Lemon Cake and baby Banana. My mother in law manages to visit once every month or two with my father in law most of the time. Nana raised two boys (daddykush and his older brother) so she really knows how to play with and manage boys. Lemon Cake loves to read, and build legos and tents with her. He loves grandpa especially when he gets to sit on his lap and watch golf with him on the computer. Grandpa has also been teaching Lemon Cake how to play solitaire card games on the computer. It is certainly a treat as I have yet to let him play games on computer. Oh, he also gives him potato chips. Nana will be visiting Easter Weekend. We are looking forward to her visit! The first question (unfortunately) that Lemon Cake will ask is, “Nana, do you have any presents for me in your suitcase?” I have been teaching him that he should first ask Nana about her plane trip and that he loves her. It hasn’t worked yet.  

Back to the reality day to day life of parenthood- I need to pick Lemon Cake up early from preschool in fifteen minutes to see the dentist. We found out last week that he has two nursing cavities on his two front teeth. Sigh… don’t even get me started on the guilt I feel over this. 


2 thoughts on “On our own again

  1. Don’t feel guilty! You did a wonderful thing for him by nursing him 🙂

    And I couldn’t agree with you more. If you can find a way to raise your kids near your family, do it! Having to “go it alone” (as I call it) sucks big time and no friend on the earth will ever, ever give as freely of their time to your kids as you family will. That’s just the way it is.

  2. Thank you! I am glad the appointment went well. I know- your traveling piece makes me wonder if we need to make more effort.to travel to see families. The way I am- I get so stressed out about traveling. Argh…

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