Are you going to have a third kid?

I have been asked on several occasions whether we are going to have a third kid. Daddykush and I have had this discussion multiple times since we had kids, and we still do not have an answer. We always assumed (given expected circumstance) that we would have two kids. It was just a matter of when the second kid would come along. I got pregnant with baby Banana about six months to a year earlier than we had planned so here we are with two kids two years and five days apart.

Going from two kids to three kids is an entirely different matter. It would right away mean we need a bigger living space. Living on one income in an expensive city would make that impossible if we want to stay in the city. It would mean I remain a full time stay at home mom for another three years and this thought absolutely terrifies me right now. I don’t know if I can go through another exhausting pregnancy (first trimesters were tough for me with both pregnancies), another medication free childbirth, another year of nursing, another two years of wearing only maternity and nursing clothes, another year of worrying about my weight, another year of not sleeping and another three years of such intense day to day complete devotion parenting 24/7.

I have told Daddykush and others many times that we will for sure have a third kid (maybe even fourth!) if we win the lottery and we can both be full time stay at home parents and hire a full time nanny. I find it fascinating to see more and more people around me having a third kid seeming like it’s not a big deal. I even met a few with four kids (one with four boys!!!). How do they do it? How? It’s not that I am against people having more kids. I think it’s quite wonderful to have many children. It is after all human nature to procreate. It is just that for my personality (planner + easily stressed out + small degree of control freak) and for our particular situation (e.g. no family nearby + relatively small living space), having three children will be challenging and stressful.

This is probably TMI, but since I am mostly anonymous, I will share that I had an IUD implanted asap after baby Banana’s birth. I could not risk pregnancy because I counted the days wrong (which is what happened with baby Banana) or forgot to take a pill. The experience of the implanting procedure was a very unpleasant one for me. I never ever want to have it taken out and put back in again.

It is fortunate that no one has given me the pressure of having another child. Daddykush is open to it, but ultimately it is really up to me. I sold and donated all of Lemon Cake’s baby clothes when we found out baby Banana is going to be a girl. I am doing the same with baby Banana’s clothes as she outgrows them. I do keep sentimental items like the outfits they wore to come home from birth and a few others to remind me how tiny they used to be. I have also been getting rid of all my nursing/maternity clothes.

It is entirely possible that a year or two from now, I would have forgotten about all the pain, exhaustion and the constant juggling act, and remember only the joy of being pregnant, holding a newborn, and the excitement of your baby smiling, rolling, crawling and walking for the first time. Maybe then, I will go make an appointment to have my IUD removed.

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Are you going to have a third kid?

  1. It is definitely a big decision. It’s also very personal and amazing that so many people think it is okay to ask.
    My wife and I went back and forth. We started later and did not have time to deliberate. At first, she was into it and I was unsure and then we switched. I think in theory we would have liked to have more kids. But as I said we were little older and were not so into going through all the early stages again.
    Btw, I invite you to visit my blog: memyselfandkids.com

  2. The only pressure I have is that I feel that if we were to have a third child, I would want it within the next year or two. I don’t want to go back work full time for several years and then take a break to have a child. I also feel that the age gap would be too big. Anyways… we will see what the universe brings us and where we are in a year or two =) Thank you for your comments!

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