Monday mornings are my designated and only kid free mornings. I suppose I could make time on the weekend for myself but I generally prefer to have as much relaxing family time with Daddykush as possible. Baby Banana goes next door to a nanny who primarily takes care of my neighbor’s younger daughter in the morning and then I take Lemon Cake to school. I am on my own from 8:45 to 11:45. When I started this arrangement last fall, I SWORE I would use this time for self-care like going to the gym or just relaxing like reading a book. I succeeded at going to yoga for a few months and was very proud of myself. It started going downhill when preschool tours began late fall. Many of these tours preferred or required no presence of children, so naturally I scheduled all of them on Monday mornings. I must have gone on ten or more tours. These tours also included schools in a nearby suburb as we were considering moving to have more space.
So, since late October, the majority of my Mondays have been taken up by school tours, dentist appointments, doctor’s appointments, hair appointments, helping Lemon Cake transition to his new school back in February, my parents visiting from China…etc. The nanny doesn’t work for my neighbor during school breaks and holidays so I don’t have those Monday mornings free. Last week, I FINALLY went for a very pathetic run. It was probably barely a mile and I had to do a combination of walk and run. The muscle pain also lasted quite intensely for three days. I am desperate to establish a routine where I can go exercise regularly. My parents told me over and over that the exercise I have from taking care of the kids is enough for now. I would love to believe that. I should have gone to the gym or for a walk this Monday, instead, I went to target to buy diapers and worked on reorganizing toys and clothes all morning because the mess and clutter in the house was stressing me out. Several Mondays ago, after I did grocery shopping and prepared for special day at Lemon Cake’s school, I made myself sit at a coffee shop for thirty minutes with a book, a coffee and a sandwich. It was heavenly. I really did not want to leave to go pick my children up from school and from my next door neighbor. I could have spent all day at the coffee shop on my own with a book.
I struggle with how to wisely spend my Monday mornings. What I often want to do the most is run errands and clear cutter because it is SO much easier and faster to do them without the kids. As a full time stay at home mom, it is so easy to just give yourself completely over the care taking of your children, your home and your husband because there are always endless things to do. Daddykush has been encouraging me to let baby Banana go to the nanny one extra morning a week so I can have more time to myself. I have been meaning to but I also feel tremendous guilt because I feel that I am supposed to be taking care of baby Banana full time. And who knows, if I have one more “free” morning, will I really start doing exercise or do something just for myself or will we just end up with a cleaner home? I guess either way I can’t lose =)