Mom Gone Wild

There’s a sexy little black sequined top in my closet that sometimes calls out to me.  I’m normally a jeans-and-flats kind of girl (even before I had Kiki) but I think every girl likes to dress up every once in a while.  So while I’m looking in my closet for a comfy cotton shirt to go with my jeans (or even better,with my yoga pants) I swear I sometimes hear, “Psst. Remember me?”.  I look over and catch the edge of that top peeking out from the back of the closet and shimmering in the light.  Well a few months ago I liberated my sexy black top for a night on the town.

I went home to the South for Christmas and got the chance to go out with my sister and her friends to celebrate my sister’s birthday.  I left Hubby and Kiki at his parents’ house and headed to my sister’s house for the night.  Dinner and bars were on the agenda and I was psyched to let loose.  I couldn’t remember the last time I went out to bars – that’s bars, as in more than one.  Now my sister is not a jeans-and-flats kind of girl and, unlike the restaurants that I frequent, her dining destinations do not offer cheese fries as an appetizer.  This was my chance!  I dusted off (literally – there was a layer of dust on the hanger) my sequined top, borrowed some of my sister’s make-up, and said, “Let’s do this!”

After a two and half hour long dinner – just wondering, are there people for whom that is normal? – some of my sister’s friends were calling it a night.  Another friend said to my sister, “Are we done?  I thought we were going out after this.” and my sister replied, “Oh we are.  That’s just all the Moms going home.”  To which I piped in, “All the Moms except me bitches!”  I don’t usually talk like that, but it seemed appropriate.

We head to the first bar and my sister’s best friend declares that she’s ordering shots.  Shots?  Really?  I was in over my head here people.  After my initial protests, I finally just give up and take the shot.  I pat myself on the back for still being to hold my own.  

At the next bar (I told you there were bars) a random guy comes over to the table and starts talking to us.  After he leaves my sister declared that he was hitting on me.  I object and say that he was not.  He totally was.  The sexy sequined top was doing its job.  I pat myself on the back again.  

At midnight my sister and her friends showed no signs of leaving.  I find myself staring at a bar full of people, none of whom seem to be pondering how long it will be until they can go to bed.  Can I be the only one thinking about that?  

Fortunately the group decides to throw in the towel around 1 am and I’m able to head back to my sister’s house where I change into my pjs as quickly as possible.  I had a blast with my sister but this Mom was ready for bed. 

When I got home and unpacked I heard a little “thanks” from my sexy black sequined top as I hung it up in the back of the closet where I’m sure it will stay for the next 2 years.  And as I pulled out my favorite black yoga pants, I’m pretty sure I heard them say, “Who do you love?”.  You black yoga pants.  I love you. 


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