Bad Dog

I want to kill the dog who lives next door. In fact, we have lived in this (rental) house for almost exactly one year, and I pat myself on the back everyday for allowing the dog to live.

I don’t dislike dogs. In fact, quite the opposite. I like them a lot. I grew up with dogs in my life and will probably have one again someday (LONG after I am done having young children in the house).

But this particular dog drives me absolutely crazy. He barks and barks and barks. He barks early in the morning and late at night and every time in between. He barks at us while we’re on our back porch. He barks at birds, squirrels, other dogs, cats, pedestrians, cars, trucks, mailmen, bikes, grass and the sun. He never, ever stops barking while he’s outside. Ever.

I suppose I should be ready to kill the dog’s owners instead of the dog, but its easier to curse out the actual noise maker when I’m in the heat of the moment. The dog has woken up my baby from nap and prevented her from going down for bed. The dog has kept me (an already sleepless mom) up at night and woken me in the early morning. My husband can sleep through a bomb going off so it doesn’t bother him, and our older daughter’s bedroom is on the opposite side of the house from where the dog is, so he rarely bothers her.

Since I stay home, I have the pleasure of dealing with the dog all day long, nearly everyday. Which is why I want to kill him. I also wonder how his owners can take it because the dog is only outside while someone is home and so they must hear him too (and they are technically closer to him while he’s barking than we are, although not by much).

This is a parenting issue for me since the dog affects my child’s sleeping (and my own), but I haven’t had the guts to ever say anything to the owners because we don’t own this house. I would love to be a real jerk and file a noise complaint with the police (or whoever will listen), but I’m sure they would figure out who it is because they live on the corner so we’re the only house near them.

I suppose this is just a rant to all my dear blog readers. Maybe if I get this out there magic fairies will come tonight and enroll the dog in obedience class or severe his vocal cords. Until then, I’ll just continue puttering around the house mumbling curse words under my breath and daydreaming about throwing a steak laced with poison over the fence.

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