I’ve come to learn that with babies and kids, you are always going to be working on something. Whether it is manners, schedules, eating, sleeping or trying to reach that next milestone. For those that have been reading my Friday posts, you know we’ve been laser-focused on sleeping and learning the bottle around here and letting the other things go at their own pace. That has worked out pretty well so far.
I was thinking about this when I was asked again, how long I plan to breastfeed little Rose. I replied that I had no idea, I didn’t have a preconceived notion of how long I should or wanted to and we haven’t had any issues with it (aside from her not taking a bottle, which is rather significant). So we’ve just been bumbling along with our ‘mommy-on-demand’ approach and even with me back at work, I can pop downstairs to give her a meal or a snack when our magical nanny thinks she is ready. So far so good.
However, with Rose’s five month birthday around the corner and seeing some of her little friends already venturing into eating solid food, I wondered why I was feeling resistant to giving her solid food. While I do think waiting until she is 6 months is a good fit for us (as opposed to 4 months), I don’t feel quite read about giving her food. It isn’t because of the mess, or the cooking or that I’m worried about her digestion. I think it is more selfish than that. I think it is just my sensitive mommy feelings of not wanting to have this wonderful tie to my baby that is 100% pure. She has never eaten anything but breast milk and has never eaten from anyone other than me. I’ve witnessed every little swallow and watched her during each drowsy post-meal heavy blink. Of course part of being a mom is letting that dependence slacken. Yet while I want to be able to be gone longer than 3 hours, part of me will mourn it too.
I’m sure lots of moms go through this but I found it funny when I stumbled upon this emotion. My husband and I are foodies, we love to cook, we have a sizable veggie garden and we even have a peach tree in our yard that will shortly produce one of Rose’s first fruits. I know the faces babies make when they eat are comical and exposing Rose to new things will always be a favorite activity. But I think that will mark a big step for the two of us, and our special little bond that we’ve enjoyed for her entire life.
I suppose it will be just one of the many times I feel her growing from me, after such a wonderfully pure beginning of growing within me. Don’t worry, I’ll find a way to enjoy her dining independence, but first I’ll enjoy a few more weeks of our special little bond…