Sorry for feeling sorry

Earlier this week, a semi-unexpected meeting with a dear friend inspired me to write this blog post.

This dear friend of mine was returning a playmat that she had borrowed for her youngest daughter. As luck would have it, she arrived at my house to return the play mat just as I was arriving home a bit early from work. She and her two girls came inside for awhile to visit, the house was a bit untidy and Peanut was a bit untidy herself. I think I may have said something along the lines of “I’m sorry the house is such a mess” and I almost said “I’m sorry Peanut isn’t in a great mood” and then it hit me. I wasn’t sorry, no offense dear friend. I think you know where I’m coming from.

Peanut doesn’t have to be in a good mood 24 hours a day/7 days a week (is that possible for any human being?) and our house doesn’t have to be clean 24 hours a day/7 days a week (this one I know is not possible). Becoming a parent has taught me about setting realistic expectations, patting yourself on the back when you met those expectations and patting yourself on the back even if you don’t meet those expectations, as long as you know you tried your best.

On this particular day, our nanny had been sick and unable to come to care for Peanut. My husband should have spent the day preparing to teach his night class, but instead spent the day watching Peanut. When she napped, he squeezed in a little time for his work. Before I left for work that morning, I told him to leave all housework for me later that night so he could get his work done. As a result, the dishes weren’t done and Peanut’s toys were, literally, strewn about the house.

Since Peanut had spent the whole day with her Daddy, she got a little upset when Daddy jetted out the door to get to class and Mommy came home with her friend and her two little girls (that Peanut doesn’t really know). Of course that was a stressful time for her and she wasn’t at her best. A mom always wants her little ones to be on their best behavior, especially around other moms and their little ones. Call it a pride issue, or a feeling like you have to prove and validate your worth as a mother. It is a trap that can be easy to fall into and comes back to setting unrealistic expectations for yourself and your children.

So, I almost just said I’m sorry for this blog entry being posted half an hour past it’s deadline, but my husband and I looked at houses this morning, prepared a surprise 60th party for my mother, enjoyed the party, put an offer in on a house, cleaned up after the party and came home by 11:45. Instead of sorry, all I can be is thankful for such a wonderful day.

Thanks for reading!


One thought on “Sorry for feeling sorry

  1. You are more than good enough and I’m sure your dear friend is aware of children’s behavior and that her house almost always look like that. Was that out of the ordinary? I know this feeling all to well and try not to apologize for Lucy and the space she takes up in the world.

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