You’ve read my Gross Mom Confessions. These are a few Everyday Mom Confessions. Enjoy!
I hid a cookie under my shirt today so I could eat it in the basement without my daughter seeing. I was starving and she had already had 2 snacks of her own. So while she was distracted at her train table I stuck the cookie up my shirt and told her I was going downstairs to get the laundry. What can I say? It’s parenthood. You do what you gotta do.
I use food as a bribe all the time. “I know you don’t want to leave your friends’ house, but did you know that I brought a granola bar for you to have once we get in the car?” “Sure you can have more applesauce, once you finish your broccoli.” I know you’re totally not supposed to do that. But it totally works.
If I’m feeling tired and really need a break, I will go sit on the couch because I know it will make Kiki ask if we can watch tv. And then I can just lay back and zone out for an hour. Or two. Shhh. Don’t tell the American Academy of Pediatrics.
I used to be a math teacher so I’m a stickler for mathematical correctness. So if my daughter points at a rectangle that is slightly longer than it is wide and calls it a square, then I’ll correct her. I will explain to her that for it to be a square that all four sides have to be exactly the same length. I know she’s only 3, but that’s no excuse for mathematical inaccuracy.
I’m known to dress my daughter and myself the same. It’s totally unintentional and Hubby finds it hilarious. I go to the gym in the morning most days and so I pack my clothes and get dressed in the locker room. I get Kiki dressed in, say, a dark pink dress and we head to the gym. Then, lo and behold, after I exercise and shower I find that I’ve packed myself a dark pink shirt to wear. I don’t set out to dress my daughter like a mini-me. I think maybe I get in a “pink” mood or a “stripes” mood and thus we end up looking like two peas in a pod. On any given day Kiki and I are ready to go for a Parent magazine cover shoot. Cheese!
I use technology to distract my daughter so that I don’t have to fight with her. Need to fix her hair? Here, Kiki, look at these pictures on my phone. Need to get her to eat more veggies? Here, Kiki, play a game on the iPad. It’s amazing how many green beans Kiki will eat while her attention is focused on the iPad. All the extra vitamins I’m getting into her counteract the brain cells she’s losing, right?
Care to share some of your Everyday Mom Confessions?