We all have them. Whether they’re good or bad, we have parenting moments. These are moments that fill us with joy over the small daily wonders as you watch your kids grow into people, and moments that make us regret getting out of bed at all that day. Sometimes the particularly tough moments can feel defeating, but hopefully they will be worth a laugh years from now. Especially if you have video for blackmail during their teenage years.
All children go through the questions phase. It seems to be a rite of passage. Our Little Miss has been blessed with the gift of gab from a very early age. She started signing at around 8 months and hasn’t stopped talking since. I’m not kidding. I’m sure she’s probably chatting away in day care right now. When Red and I plan car trips, we leave around bedtime for the kiddo’s so they’ll fall asleep fairly quickly. On our last trip Little Miss declared that this time she was staying up, and proceeded to talk at us from the back seat for 90 minutes, way past her bed time, until Mommy and Daddy decided to take a little ‘talking break’. With a couple minutes of not responding she was out cold. She needs an audience or her superpowers of endless gab start to wane…
So LM likes to talk. Enter the questions phase. Now we have a motivated chatter with the inquisitive mind of a growing child. Picture this, circa 6am. I am changing Little Miss Junior’s diaper while Little Miss stands by firing questions. Little Miss Junior has made it her own personal war NOT to have her diaper changed lately (back arching, body twisting, grabbing anything in vicinity including the diaper straps).
LM: “Daddy, what are we going to do today?”
Dad-E: “I’m not sure, we’ll see when your mother wakes up.”
Little Miss Junior almost rolls off the diaper table, much to her own delight…
LM: “When will that be?”
Dad-E: “In a little while, she’s tired honey.”
Dad-E: “Because it’s tiring being a Mommy and a Daddy, and your sister is a poor sleeper”
LMJ has kicked the wipes off the diaper table and I’m holding her down with one hand while stretching for the wipes now on the floor…
LM: “Why is she a poor sleeper?”
Dad-E: “I don’t know honey, she wakes up a lot, and she’s teething.”
LM: “Is mommy up now?”
Dad-E: “I don’t think so honey”
LM: “Can I have some ice cream?”
Dad-E: …sigh… “no honey, we don’t have ice cream for breakfast”
Dad-E: “Don’t be silly, you know perfectly well that you can’t have treats for breakfast”
Dad-E: “Yes dear?”
LM: “Do you know where my blue frog is?”
Dad-E: “No baby, you have to keep track of your own toys, did you look in your play space?”
I’ve got the diaper on but LMJ has grabbed the old diaper and is about to start happily munching on it before I notice just in time…
Dad-E: “Yes honey…”
LM: “Are there purple frogs?”
Dad-E: “uh…. I guess there might be. I’m not really sure, why?”
I put LMJ down and she immediately crawls away looking for a good electrical wire to chew on.
Dad-E: “Yes dear?”
LM: “What are we going to do today?”
LMJ laughs in my direction as she starts munching on a hair covered tennis ball she just pulled out of the dog’s crate.
It is now 6:03 am and I want to shoot myself in the face.
Interrogations at 6am can be difficult for the most patient parent. We’ve had to institute some ‘no questions’ breaks from time to time, and I have absolutely resorted to “because I said so!” as a perfectly valid response. Why? Because I said so dammit.