I Don’t Like You

We are in NJ visiting the grandparents, Hubby’s parents en route to my parents.  Little Miss and I have been at odds this week so you may think that I was approaching this week with gratitude and relief, which is true.  True, also, is the fact that LM doesn’t hear the word no for 9 days in a row and this does little to mitigate much of the behavior that put us at odds this week to begin with.

We are one day in and I’m happy to report that while LM hasn’t heard the word no except to, “Can I go play on that playground in someone else’s backyard?” it has been nothing but lovely to be here.  This clearly indicates growth on my part as our interactions today can be summed up with this one anecdote:

As a whole family we went to Nutshell playground about a mile from Co-Co and Pop-pop’s house.  General fun ensued – a spinny toy, a bouncy toy, a bumpy slide and swings.  I have definitely given LM her space for most of the day as there are plenty of others to happily interact with and I know I’m not the preferred company.  As we head home we split up into two cars and LM’s disappointment that she will be separated from her grandparents for 30 seconds is palpable.  Hubby straps LM into her car seat as I strap her little sister into the other.  I look at my darling, sun kissed, messy haired, sticky handed child whom I love with a vastness that can be compared only to the ocean.   She opens her mouth to say to me, with a dead pan stare and not one blink of her eyes, “I don’t like you.”

This made me laugh more than anything as I know that what she is really saying is “I’m having a lot of fun.  I love getting treats, attention and cartoons to my heart’s content.  You represent boundaries in my life and that is not something I want right now, or ever really.”

No child thanks you for boundaries, limits and consistency.  No preschooler appreciates the healthy lifestyle habits I am trying to instill from an early age.  This constant role is exhausting for me and while I wish I could give the world to her on a platter I know that won’t serve any good purpose but I sure am glad she has a Co-Co and a Pop-pop for that.    

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One thought on “I Don’t Like You

  1. Last week for the first time ever, Lemon Cake said to me, “I don’t love you Mommy”. After I set a boundary (probably said no to video request). I was surprisingly unfazed by it. It took me by surprise that I wasn’t hurt, that I was so secure in my relationship with him and that I was confident about setting limits with him. Thank you for this post. Lemon Cake and I have been going through rough patches once in a while in navigating him being three and a half!

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