Ah yes, the new parents’ lament… it’s an age old song about sleeplessness, diapers, tantrums, and laundry. Over the past year we’ve covered quite a few of these topics on this blog, and today will be no different. For you see, Little Miss Junior is waging a war of attrition against our will to sleep. She is cunning, and extraordinarily cute, and she’s not afraid to lull you into a false sense of progress by sleeping well for a week or so before reverting to the 3am screaming session once more. She’s a crafty one.
For the last week, LMJ, also known recently as screamy smurf, has been one grumpy gus. She might wake up from a nap as screamy. She might be in the middle of a happy play session with blocks and suddenly revert to screamy, and she’s almost guaranteed to morph instantly into screamy when Red walks into the room after any kind of absence. In screamy’s world, 30-40 seconds = absence. Poor Red. She gets an earful of screamy.
Screamy smurf has been dealing with a bit of a cold and a pretty bad diaper rash (hence the grump)… and we’ve had to wipe her messy face quite a bit over the last week. She does not approve. For an 11 month old, her defense mechanisms are well honed…. If you’re holding her on your hip and you go to pick up a wipe, she knows what’s coming and will instantly smear her face on your shoulder in an attempt to pre-empt your face wiping, while simultaneously providing you some new laundry to work on… she’s also good at throwing both hands in the air for blocking defense while wildly twisting her head back and forth as if to say, “good luck wiping this face pal,”.
A couple nights ago we were in the bedtime ritual for screamy… bath, change, diaper, bottle, bed. She was playing on the floor of her room while I gathered the necessary items for the day’s closing ceremonies. Screamy has a knack for finding the hole in your defense and going right for it. Tonight she spied an unattended box of wipes on the floor, jackpot! As she has started her preliminary walking, she’s getting faster by the minute, and she bee-lined for those wipes. I turned to see her gleefully pulling fistfuls of wipes out of the box. When she realizes she’s been caught, she holds two handfuls of wipes up to show me the spoils of her victory, and laughs… presumably at me. The moment you take a step towards her she assumes we are now playing a game, cackles wildly like a mad scientist on the verge of some breakthrough, and rocket crawls in the other direction away from me. I catch up with screamy as she gets cornered by the closed bedroom door. I quickly explain to her that “Wipes are not a toy dear,” and start to pull the fistfuls of cloth from her hands.
This is where screamy catches me off guard. The moment I get close and am sitting next to her, she climbs up my torso and furiously starts wiping MY face with her handful of wipes while laughing hysterically. “How do you like it buddy?”
Screamy – 1 … Dad-E – 0
Touche Screamy Smurf. Well played.