To work or not to work – that is the question. There doesn’t seem to be any right answer or a good balance of any kind. I love my work. It feels meaningful and satisfying. I am good at what I do. I say that not to toot my own horn but to demonstrate that my work gives me confidence. I am good at what I do because I am thoughtful, I studied hard, I do my research and I take good enough care of myself to be able to take good care of others. This sounds fabulous, right? And, it is. So, what’s the problem? The problem is that recently, I miss my kids. I hate leaving them in the morning and think about them all day. Right now, LM is getting sick and I want to be the one staying home with her tomorrow – bringing her water, giving her hugs and determining whether or not it’s time for Tylenol. All of a sudden their childhood seems to be flying by and I don’t want to miss it – I don’t want to miss them.
On the other hand – work gives me the opportunity to miss my kids. I run in the door on Monday nights looking forward to bath and bedtime when I can spend a few quiet moments with them at the end of the day. I like being a role model of a working woman to my girls. I think what I do is important and helping others is a value I can teach them by doing it.
At the end of the day I have made the decision to work part-time. This also allows me to be home part-time as well. While this may seem like the perfect solution – absolutely nothing is perfect.