“Leave me alone.”
“I need some space, Mom.”
These are phrases that my 4 year-old has been saying more and more lately. She’s 4, not 14. How are we here already? Ugh. I guess this is what I get for raising a fiercely independent little girl.
Kiki is not the best night-time sleeper, but she does often sleep late. So it is pretty common for me to have to get her up so we can make it to school on time. It used to be that when I would go in to wake her up, I’d sit on her bed and gently stroke her hair and rub her back until she woke up. When she’d finally wake up, she would crawl into my lap and lay there letting me continue to stroke her hair. Ah. It was so sweet.
Here’s how the same scenario plays out now. I go in to wake her up. I sit down on her bed and gently stroke her hair and rub her back, admiring my sweet little girl. Then she wakes up and immediately wiggles away from me and says, with her eyes still closed, “Mommy, get off my bed!” Ugh. Arrow to the heart.
I’m trying my best to respect her request for space. But it’s really hard. I just love her so much. And her skin is so intoxicatingly soft that I always want to touch her hand or her face. It has obviously started driving her nuts though. And I can sympathize. My mother is super touchy-feely and it totally creeps me out. But come on. It should be different for me. My daughter should be fiercely independent but should still be totally ok with holding her mommy’s hand.
Fortunately Kiki does throw me some bones. She’ll cuddle with me while we watch tv or while I read her a book. And sometimes she’ll still hold my hand while we are walking somewhere. And this morning she wanted to sit in my lap during breakfast. Granted it was because she wanted to share my cereal, but I still call that a win.
I do know one thing. If I’m having this hard of time accepting the fact that my daughter doesn’t want me to kiss her, then how am I ever going to deal with it when she’s 15 and doesn’t even want me to talk to her?